Love You Forever

June 25, 2017

"I'll love your forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

 

A book which still rests on the bookshelf in my youngest son's room. A book I regularly read to my firstborn and oldest son, the preemie, all but 4 pounds at the time. Now at 179 pounds, he has left for college. 

 

Where has all of the time gone? It feels like only yesterday we were off to Gymboree and My Gym and playing with Thomas the Tank Engine (which I packed away for my future grandchildren). Then he was off to preschool, elementary, middle, high school, and now this? 

 

My heart is aching for many reasons. First and foremost, I want him to be happy and succeed on his own. I've spent a lifetime preparing him for this next chapter in his life and pray my efforts have been worthwhile, pray some of my nagging requests, suggestions, and recommendations have somehow sank in when oftentimes I don't know if he was even listening to me, focusing on his damn phone instead. I say this with nothing but love. 

 

But now it's time for him to move on.

 

As sad as I feel, I know my job as a mother will never end because as the book says, "I'll love your forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

 

He'll always be my baby, all of my kids will, even when they're old and gray, bidding I'm still alive to see it, and I'll always be here for them as their mother with open arms and unconditional love, no matter what.

 

So in tears, I too move forward as does he.

 

Shit, in two years the next one leaves, my only girl. God help me. Guess I should focus on living in the present and not project.

 

Appreciate and cherish each and every moment, they go quickly and we can't get them back once they're gone.

 

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