The COVID pandemic completely shut down my creative mojo. That is, until a few weeks ago. With Book 4, The Right Time, back from the editor, instead of reviewing her notes, I instead chose to focus on bad boy Nick's story. I've finished the manuscript. What a feeling of accomplishment since a short time ago, my attention span couldn't last longer than writing a paragraph. I just wasn't in the headspace to create.
The downside is I'll have to edit two books at once.
The upside is there are scenes that take place in both manuscripts from different points of view, which had me bouncing back and forth between the two to confirm consistency. Have to say, that was more work than I thought it would be, but the final product is totally worth it.
So, where did my creativity go?
Between health procedures of family members, everyone home in quarantine, and business stresses due to the outbreak, real life was all I could focus on. These last six months have been trying, draining, and overwhelming, to say the least.
I'm not sure when or if things will return normal as we know it, but I desperately needed an escape. For me, that break comes from reading—have been binge reading Amy Daws London Lovers series, great, fun reads—, writing, and Netflix. Lucifer, anyone?
There is something so freeing about entering another world where your imagination can run wild, the boundaries limitless. The key for me is to keep a balance. It is very easy for me to escape stress by devoting every spare second to writing, to the point I miss out on other experiences going on around me.
As my daughter prepares to return to college this weekend (yes, I can admit I've been obsessively writing to keep my emotions in check), I am left with a gaping hole in my heart again. I had just gotten used to her being away, only for her to return home to quarantine. It's like starting all over. The blessing is my oldest graduated from college and will be home for the next year and my youngest is home doing virtual school.
My heart still aches.
When children are small and drive us crazy, we tell ourselves, at least I did, "I need a break!" Now that they are older and more independent, I miss them.
Maybe this is what inspired me to get back to the computer and write. With the kids doing their own thing and my husband gone most of the day working, writing has given me a sense of purpose again. Sure being a mom, wife, business manager, home coordinator (fancy term meaning caretaker of all things home), I am filled with joy. Writing is something nobody else can give to me: it makes my inner light soar for miles.
How easy it can be to lose myself in others and situations going on around me. I'm hoping that now that the flame has been relit, I can keep it glowing.
If you have been struggling with the frustrations and powerlessness of the COVID nightmare, which I do believe most of us have and still are, I am hopeful you too can find something that brings you peace and makes your inner light glow. We all deserve to have our lights shine brightly.